Positives

Today I am trying my best to stay positive. Because although I am struggling with not being able to eat, there are lots of things in my life that are worth being thankful for.

As I had mentioned previously, I switched markets at work. What this means is that instead of selling weddings and social events, I now sell for the SMERF martket which includes military, association, fraternal organizations, etc. It isn't as "fun" of a market but it is about 100x busier which means better sales numbers for me. It has been "raining contracts" as my admin put it! And it sure has. I am sure that this week was absolutely fantastic!

Also, the whole San Antonio idea is coming into play. I spoke to Roger again about it last night, after we had a 30 minute discussion about how we were going to try to arrange our schedules to pick up the children on time, and I told him again that I cannot stand barely making it and never seeing our kids. We need to have 1 solid income that we can afford to live off of and the other as a secondary one. After our whole discussion I wasn't able to fall asleep so I started looking up jobs and just sending resumes for the heck of it. Well, shockingly enough I got a response today from a recruiter who spoke with a hotel who would possibly consider me as an out of state candidate. WOW! That pretty much never happens nowadays. So I filled out his crazy internet forms and will hopefully be hearing back soon about whether or not I have an interview for February. Crazily enough, I get paid so low here that jobs out there are comparable in pay... and yet the cost of living is SO MUCH LOWER! I am not sure if they would contribute to relocation or anything yet, but I am still just glad to have gotten a response.

Also, my kids are so cute. Benji I have yet to see (but I still know he is adorable every second of every day) and Aidan is something else. Every day she says something to crack me up. Yesterday on our car ride home she had her little mini Cinderella with her. Not only was she telling me that she needs to be Cinderella because she has yellow hair too, she also said that Benji could be Ariel and Roger could be Belle. LOL! I guess I get to be Tinkerbelle! Then she had a full on conversation with herself (Mommy) and Cinderella. She was talking to and from herself for a good 10 minutes and I was in the front seat giggling the entire time! Such an imagination she has! Her teachers have commented numerous times on how bright she is but that she is a stubborn little cookie. She pretty much got my genes as far as personality goes which might need a little tweaking as I am seeing now.

As for my surgery stuff, friends and fam are still 1000% supportive and I tell ya, it really does help to hear kind words. Even hearing that people like reading my blog put a smile on my face.

I am starting to think though that I am not consuming enough calories per day. I am supposed to be drinking about 600 per day. Each protein packet I drink has 70-80 (I drink 2 per day) and if I drink a Myoplex that is another 260 or so. That is only about 400 per day. I am also not getting enough protein in, but I just cannot force myself to drink another protein packet. They taste like crap and take FOREVER to drink. I have discovered though that the juice ones taste a lot better if I pour them on ice rather than drinking from my little bottle that I mix them in. The "soups" (aka protein broth) are better tasting but by the time I am finishing them, they are cold. So frustrating! Like I keep saying, I just cannot wait until I can eat something!!!

Another issue that I am having is being itchy. I swore I had hives last night because my belly was itchy, my arms were itchy and had little bumps on the back of them... I just could not stop itching! I am not sure what it is, but I saw hives on Aidan and I don't think that is what I have. I know scabs can sometimes itch, which is what my incisions are at this point, but its the skin in between itching also!

Anyhow... today has been much better than yesterday, which is a big time relief!