The Learning Curve

I should really title this "MY learning curve" because really it pertains to how each day I learn something new about my stomach's capabilities. Since being allowed to have "mushies" I have taken a few bites of not so great things. For example, a coworker brought in some homemade mac n cheese, so I had a noodle (yes, literally a little macaroni noodle) because I felt like a smooshy noodle is probably safe going down the hatch. And I have started to be a "spoon licker". So when I make Aidan something I can't really eat, I just lick the spoon to get the flavor of it. Sad times.

Well tonight I decided that we should go to Panera. It was just me and Aidan so I thought it's be fun for her, plus they have soup, and that is something that I can eat. I looked at their little nutrition packet and thought I would be a rebel and order their baked potato soup. Yes it is a creamy soup, but really I have had a grand total of about 250 calories today so I thought I should splurge and call it a day. I asked for a taste and it is DELICIOUS (for those without eating restrictions I would highly recommend it!!!) so I ordered a cup. I had about 2 spoons full before I felt like I had swallowed a brick. That feeling where you just want to burp to get that air/pressure out of your chest and throat. WOW. So I am starting to really see how this sleeve works.

Not only can I not eat very much of anything... I can't eat what I would like at this point. I had to switch to a clear broth (french onion) and that went down fine. But creamy... no way.

So I guess what I need to figure out is how to get the recommended 600-800 calories a day. I have been living on around 400 for 2 weeks now, and because I can't eat much I can't get my calorie count up. I would try to make it up with the foods I am eating but with 2 oz of something and trying to eat healthy, that equates to about 50-75 calories. Not to mention that when I eat the 2oz of normal food instead of a protein drink, I sacrifice a lot of grams of protein. Instead of getting 15 in a serving, with a good food, I'll get maybe half. Today I am down in protein AND liquids which needs to change if I want to lose this weight!

Speaking of which, I stood on the scale again and gained 3 lbs. Which I guess can be accounted for with clothing... sort of. I think my body is starting to go into starvation mode and storing everything which means I need to find a way to consume more good calories. Not sure how to do this.

Also, the executive assistant for the hotel was going around taking orders for our managers outing next Monday. Ceasar salad and steak and mashed potatoes and sauteed spinach. Sounds like a dream right???? I am FREAKING OUT. I can't eat salad, that's for sure. I can probably squeak by with some potatoes, but I am afraid to try a bite of meat there because if I barf it will be in front of about 17 people. Maybe I will just cut some up and push it around the plate for awhile to make it look like I am interested? Or sit strategically. Ironic that I will tell the entire world on facebook about this but not my coworkers. Only 1 knows. HI APRIL!!! xoxo

Well, I guess after that outing I will have some exciting experiences to post.