Friday, December 31, 2010

The Dawning of a New Day

Well, I made it! One night home and one day on the run, I mean road : P Roger created a pretty neat spreadsheet last night and has been an amazing cheerleader when it comes to encouraging me to get in my protein. He went to Wal Mart last night to get me water bottles so that I can take my supplements on the go, and it wasn't until this morning that I was super grateful (this seems to be a common theme... learning to step back and see that some of his ideas are pretty genius!). So now, for my protein that I must consume for they day, I carry around a little 12 oz tupperware jug thingy. See me above modeling the jug with my stunning hair-do and eyeglasses and sweatshirt. Believe it or not I did brush my teeth today! Step forward!!! haha
Last night everything went fairly well. I have come to a some conclusions... the first is that anyone who elects to have a c-section because they are afraid of stretching their girly parts is a complete moron. Read carefully about why this type of election bugs me. There is nothing funny about the pain of an abdominal incision, and mine isn't even that bad!!! It is about an inch long. So the thought of handling a newborn or MORE kids with one by choice... so ridiculous.
The second realization was a bit of buyers remorse. Yesterday as I was in pain from every sip of water I took, I really thought to myself "Wow, apparently I did not take this as seriously as I should have." I definitely think that a part of me just expected to go in fat and come out where all I could eat was liquid, and in a month or 2 I would be skinny. WRONG. There is nothing fun about what I am going through right now other than the consolation of me not being able to eat is the fear that anything I did or would eat would hurt so bad I would reach down my throat and pull it back up!
The third is really that every person going through an experience is so different. I have done considerable research on this procedure, have read blogs, watched v-logs, etc. But for some reason I thought everything would just come naturally to me. As I was telling Roger just now... it would be different if you had the ability to take away 1 discomfort and focus on the other. I.e. "it hurts when I sip and burp, but at least I can lay down and it all goes away." or "I am in pain when I lay down but if I stand and sip it goes down better and I am not so gassy." Yeah no. I get the worst of both worlds!
The one thing that I have come across is a magical pill called Ativan. It is my very new best friend. According to the label is is anti nausea - anxiety - and helps me sleep. It did all of that the last moment I took it. Looking very forward to my 6pm dose! I will say though, that aside from my one larger incision, I barely even notice the other 4. The biggest thing is the constant hiccups and burping. And if I try to swallow a pill it is a good 5-10 minutes until I feel comfortable again. I have yet to even start my vitamin regiment that it supposed to be going along with my 2 liters of liquids. CRAZY!
I did get a very surprising (to me) dose of encouragement in the form of a card from RB today. It basically said that he was really proud of me for making a choice to better my life and that he is here to support me every step of the way. I know it has been just a few days but he really has bent over backwards to help me succeed. Can't express enough gratitude for that.
Right now we are at my mom's house saying Happy New Years Eve before they head out to celebrate their anniversary. I have about 2 oz of protein drink I need to get down before I can start on another glass of water.
A friend of mind who has undergone weight loss surgery told me that I would have an eating disorder after surgery. And now that I have, I agree with her 10000% I am completely obsessed with everything that goes in my mouth along with the nutritional content. Protein shake anyone???

1 comment:

  1. alexis, i had a whole paragrpah written out but it sounded weird. i just want to say again that i'm so proud of you and can't wait to follow your progress through this journey! you are one strong, brave and awesome woman with so much love and dedication for your family! hang in there :)