So the abridged version of the last month and a half include
- I moved into my parents' house with the kids after leaving Roger early January (and after his sister moving into our house)
- Dave, my "work husband" left our company and got a new job else where, devastating me (and forcing me to demand jewelry as a break up gift! haha)
- My friends, family, coworkers, and boss, showed me what love & support really means (and shocked me with their generosity and kindness)
- I moved into my OWN place!!! I have never ever lived alone before.
- And my birthday is tomorrow!
So, obviously that glosses over the issue of divorce because again, I think that is a private matter, but I moved out, got my own place, and am moving on with my life. For once, I feel like I took the "high road" and really just wanted to make the transition as easy as possible for the children. They did struggle while we were staying with my parents, because it wasn't split into mom's house & dad's house... it was Grandma's house. So they just saw it as being away from home :( Although that part sucked, it was absolutely wonderful to have the love and support of my family. Who wouldn't like to stay with their Grandpa who firmly believes in spoiling them?!!!!
Or spending time with their very very favorite uncles who tickle them, build train tracks with them, or even take the time to sit down and make puzzles?!
Or, the best part of being at Grandma's house just may be getting to have pets! We all LOVE Pearl, the very best dog in the world!
So, even though it wasn't "home" (well, it was for me....) it was a safe haven, and a much needed escape from Camp Crazy.
I didn't last too long at my parents' because I was getting killed with tolls, gas, and simply time. It would take upwards of an hour just to get the kids to school in San Leandro, and then I would commute back to Burlingame, and then back to San Leandro, then back to SF. I was spending 3 hours per day in the car, driving about 150 miles, round trip, and spending $10 on tolls a day. Miserable. Absolutely miserable.
So, this amazing thing called prayer really works.... and also it works for those who help themselves; the whole "seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive" thing. I was trying to hard to find a place, but I knew that I needed a deposit. And rent prices in the Bay Area are sky high right now. I mean, piece of crap apartments are going for over $1000/month in horrible neighborhoods. It is terrible. I knew I wanted to be in the East Bay, preferrably San Leandro/Hayward because of the kids' school, but ultimately I just wanted to find a place, move in, and be able for my kids to call it home.
So, I asked, I received, and I moved in! I am currently living in the "hood"... I'd say "ghetto" but that might be offensive. Let's just say I don't go out at night :)
Never in my life have I lived with a gate to "protect" my front door but you know what they say "When in Rome...". Better safe than sorry, quote frankly! And my door/welcome mat are most likely the friendliest in the neighborhood! Who else has a Happy Valentine's Day sign???? That's right, just me! BUT, with that said, the apartment itself is pretty close to perfect. Except for 1 thing, but I will get to that in a minute. The apartment is in a 4-plex, owned by my "aunt"'s brother in law. He is awesome. So kind, and my rent is extremely reasonable. I was able to move right in. Fabulous.
It was a beautiful, wonderful, fabulous day when I moved in. That smile is bright and so so genuine!
Back to the whole "ask and you shall receive" thing.... I moved out with literally my clothes, jewelry, a couple assorted kid things, my dresser, and the washing machine. I have managed to furnish my ENTIRE apartment with: free items off of Craigslist, hand me downs from family and friends, and the extreme generosity of a special friend. When I say "I feel blessed" there is no way that the statement can truly express how I feel. And there is no way that I would have stayed in a messed up relationship for physical "things". Better to have peace of mind and nothing than insanity and some couches.
While all of this was going on, my coworker Dave gave 2 week notice. Most people probably cannot understand why I dwell on this, but Dave and I had become very close. He is married with a lovely wife & baby daughter and he is just one of those people who is so genuine and so kind, you can't help but love him! We also were a team... he did the manly stuff, I did the girly stuff, and more often then not, people assumed I was his wife. So, although he would make a lovely husband, he obviously wasn't mine, but we joked all the time that he was my "work husband". When he quit, I felt like I had gotten dumped!!! Omg, traumatic. I know that his choice was the best thing for him and his family, and I am still in contact with them, but I do miss him! Now, the amazing boss that she is, my boss Karen let us girls have our own little "goodbye" party for Dave.... the week after he left we went and got mani-pedis!!! lol
I went the fake nail route, because after moving my nails were TRASHED. Every time I get them, I hate them because it makes me "all thumbs" (chuckle chuckle), but I will say, the end result is very pretty! I am so not used to seeing perfect frenchly manicured nails and a naked wedding ring finger : ( But, hey.... they look pretty! :) Oh and ftr, my finger is now a size 5. HOLY CRAP!
Luckily, my moving weekend fell on a weekend sans children, so I was able to take time and paint some walls, put everything away, and get somewhat set up, without my 2 littles underneath me. As I mentioned before, the apartment is pretty much perfect with the exception of 2 things: the location, as previously discussed, and also, it is only a 1 bedroom :( The positives: in unit laundry (full size!!!), good sized bathroom with new paint, new floor, new fixtures, great closet space, a garage for storage (my car would fit but not with my crap in it), a parking spot RIGHT OUT FRONT! (in this neighborhood, Lord knows I need it) and my only utility is electric. Awesome right?! Well, awesome except it is a 1 bedroom. Did I mention I have 2 kids 50% of the time?????
So, the first attempt at sleeping arrangements was me sleeping on the couch, Aidan in my bed, and Benji in his converted crib. Yeah that was a joke. Benji AND Aidan wanted to be in the "big bed", yet they didn't want to sleep with each other. I was up all night, worried Benji would fall off the side of the bed (I hadn't prepared with a railing), getting smacked from both sides, and it was just a disaster area. I knew I needed toddler beds for BOTH of them. So, the following week I was able to get a princess bed for Aidan, a firetruck bed for Benji, and I downsized from a queen to a full, thanks to my parents' collection of different sized beds ; ) The set up seemed ideal. Yeah.... except my children STILL want to sleep with me! AHHHHHHH!!!! Benji is doing much better than his big sis though, and he will sleep through the night in his firetruck. Aidan on the other hand... she lasts about half the night, and most recently she has said screw the princess bed, she wants mommy.
I can't say that I blame her... she has a cough and it definitely keeps her up at night :( On Tuesday night, she refused to take her cough medicine so it was a LOUD LOUD cough that was preventing Benji from falling asleep to begin with. I had the bright idea of doing a little camp out in the living room for her, so Benji could at least get some rest. Yeah, Princess LOVED that idea! Partay! Check out this smile.... she even got midnight snacks from Mom... crazy girl! So, at least Benji got some rest, Aidan did as well, albeit amidst coughing, and Mom... yeah no rest for the weary. I spent the night running between the living room and the bedroom because Benji refused to sleep in his own bed so he was in mine, and Aidan woke up every few hours looking for me, and you can't fit both of us on the couch. I love my children to death but I can't deny that I was looking forward to my own lonely bed last night!
And speaking of last night.... dinner party/pre-birthday dinner!!!! The company I work for had traded some rentals for a dinner party and we arranged it to be a "birthday" dinner for me! SOOO FUN!!! We invited significant others, and some of our very favorite clients, and it was a blast! AND little did I know.... I got presents!!!! Lindsey (client) brought me beautiful tulips and an enormous Hershey's kiss. And Erin (former client/friend) gave me this ADORABLE custom cake stand! I love it!!!! It goes with the "theme" of my kitchen (I was going for French country-ish, hence the yellow wall and flower pic) and I *think she made it herself! Oh and there were some yummy spice cake cupcakes included for good luck!
All in all, I have been going through some tough times (lost 3-4 lbs because of it) but there have been some shining stars, both people, and experiences, that have made it bearable. I am so lucky, blessed, special... you name it. I am ending my 20s an entirely new woman, and I am so very excited about the year to come!
Oh and btw, I am a movie star! I was filmed for my surgeon's promotional "pick a surgeon" video.... more on that soon!