Well, I learned my lesson today. From all of the sweets and treats of Valentine's Day I managed to gain 2 lbs when I weighed in tonight. : ( Not good!
I shouldn't be surprised. But I kind of am! The past few weeks I have had little bites of sweets here and there. Nothing substantial. And every time I weighed in, the numbers just kept on decreasing! I think that I got into la la land, thinking that I could eat whatever I want. Because yesterday and today, with an overabundance of sweets at work, I definitely indulged, and I definitely should NOT have!
It sounds silly to think that I could have risen above scientific facts of weight loss. But I did. And now I learned my lesson! So... no more mini snickers (hey, they're mini!) or slurpees (in my defense I drink half and it is the only way to get my coke fix!) or little carby bites. It's back to business. I have about 70 lbs to go and I KNOW that I can do it!
On the bright side, I do think I shrunk another inch or so. My skirt (the new one that I had pulled out of the boxes) was loose, and I am noticing that my jacket for work is getting REALLY loose on top. I might have to splurge and get a new one although I really don't want to (I am forced to wear a suit jacket which I find uncomfortable). But either way, it's good to know I am shrinking : )
Also, I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Probably my first good one in a long time. I got roses at work, a gift from Victoria's Secret, and cards from the kids. I cannot complain!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Non-Scale Victory!
So there is an acronym in the weight loss surgery (WLS) world called NSV. What this means is "non-scale victory" or basically success that doesn't involve weight at all. I have had a few the past week or so and I have been so focused on the scale moving that it took me a little longer to realize them!
The first is that I now have the ability to throw unhealthy food away after just a bite. It's happened a few times now and I am really hoping and praying that this habit sticks with me for life. For example: On my birthday my company sang me happy birthday with a scrumptious red-velvet cake w/ cream cheese frosting. One of my very favorites!!!! It took 2-3 small bites, and because of my stomach size, I was extremely full. I contemplated taking it back to my desk to nibble on after my stomach had emptied, and then I thought to myself "why would I eat that much crap?? I shouldn't even be eating the 2 bites!". So... I THREW IT AWAY!!!!! The same thing when Roger had taco bell the other day. I had 2-3 bites of a burrito and just threw it away. The whole point of my surgery is to not eat a) bad stuff but b) not eat as much. So although I am throwing away foods that I like, I am starting to understand that there will be other times for me to enjoy them... I don't have to binge and stuff myself.
The second NSV was yesterday morning. I have 2 bins in my closet of old clothes that didn't fit anymore. They were a size or 2 smaller than my pre-surgery size, and I knew I had gone down 1 size but didn't think I would fit in the majority of my work clothes yet. On a whim, I tried on a skirt on the top of the pile. Not only did it fit... it was slightly loose!!! This prompted me to try on pretty much everything in the bin and about 90% of it FIT! I just kept repeating "omg this fits!" about 10000 times to Roger! I even fit into my pre-Benji jeans!
Now interestingly enough, where I am losing weight is still weird. I am 1/2 Puerto Rican, which generally means wide hips and thick thighs. I definitely inherited that. But pre-kids, my stomach was very nice and it was where I lost weight first. Now, it seems like my thighs are shrinking faster than my stomach! I am not complaining!!!! But, what I am complaining about is my butt. It is still wide, but it's starting to look flat! Ugh! On the plus side, a lot of people complain that when they lose weight their boobs become flapjacks and are where they lose first. For me, the girls are still full and as perky as possible after 2 kids! I am also not losing much hair, which makes me really happy. I am attributing this to the fact that although I try to stick to my diet, I do incorporate some healthy fats to keep things healthy with oils. Right after surgery I wasn't ingesting any fats at all and my hair and skin were HORRIBLE.
So, on the homefront, I have been in a great mood because of all of these fab NSVs and the beautiful weather, and a great birthday, and and and. Let's say the past few days have been good! Oh, and of course, the scale is still moving much to my shock, so I am now at 211. Woohoo!!!!! So so so excited. I really do think I will cry the day I am back down in the 100s. It has been 3 or so years since I was. Only 12 lbs to go!!!!
The first is that I now have the ability to throw unhealthy food away after just a bite. It's happened a few times now and I am really hoping and praying that this habit sticks with me for life. For example: On my birthday my company sang me happy birthday with a scrumptious red-velvet cake w/ cream cheese frosting. One of my very favorites!!!! It took 2-3 small bites, and because of my stomach size, I was extremely full. I contemplated taking it back to my desk to nibble on after my stomach had emptied, and then I thought to myself "why would I eat that much crap?? I shouldn't even be eating the 2 bites!". So... I THREW IT AWAY!!!!! The same thing when Roger had taco bell the other day. I had 2-3 bites of a burrito and just threw it away. The whole point of my surgery is to not eat a) bad stuff but b) not eat as much. So although I am throwing away foods that I like, I am starting to understand that there will be other times for me to enjoy them... I don't have to binge and stuff myself.
The second NSV was yesterday morning. I have 2 bins in my closet of old clothes that didn't fit anymore. They were a size or 2 smaller than my pre-surgery size, and I knew I had gone down 1 size but didn't think I would fit in the majority of my work clothes yet. On a whim, I tried on a skirt on the top of the pile. Not only did it fit... it was slightly loose!!! This prompted me to try on pretty much everything in the bin and about 90% of it FIT! I just kept repeating "omg this fits!" about 10000 times to Roger! I even fit into my pre-Benji jeans!
Now interestingly enough, where I am losing weight is still weird. I am 1/2 Puerto Rican, which generally means wide hips and thick thighs. I definitely inherited that. But pre-kids, my stomach was very nice and it was where I lost weight first. Now, it seems like my thighs are shrinking faster than my stomach! I am not complaining!!!! But, what I am complaining about is my butt. It is still wide, but it's starting to look flat! Ugh! On the plus side, a lot of people complain that when they lose weight their boobs become flapjacks and are where they lose first. For me, the girls are still full and as perky as possible after 2 kids! I am also not losing much hair, which makes me really happy. I am attributing this to the fact that although I try to stick to my diet, I do incorporate some healthy fats to keep things healthy with oils. Right after surgery I wasn't ingesting any fats at all and my hair and skin were HORRIBLE.
So, on the homefront, I have been in a great mood because of all of these fab NSVs and the beautiful weather, and a great birthday, and and and. Let's say the past few days have been good! Oh, and of course, the scale is still moving much to my shock, so I am now at 211. Woohoo!!!!! So so so excited. I really do think I will cry the day I am back down in the 100s. It has been 3 or so years since I was. Only 12 lbs to go!!!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Happy Birthday to ME!
Woohoo! February 10 has arrived and I am officially 28 years old. Wow how time flies! Never thought I would be 30. Now it is only 2 years away. I have also come to the conclusion that the world at large succumbs to reverse psychology.... the less of a deal I make about my own birthday, the more of a deal everyone else does! lol.
Today has been fab thus far. I woke up, changed a dirty diaper, dealt with Aidan and her morning grouchiness... and then Bev showed up with my first birthday gift!!! A GORGEOUS necklace. It is beautiful! And because it is my birthday I am making the extra effort of putting pics in this posting... watch out!
The picture really doesn't do it justice. Plus I didn't expect to receive anything at all so getting a gift as gorgeous as this... I was happy happy :)So, Bev took Benji with her, and I took Aidan to school. Running slightly behind, but hey, it's my birthday! And this entire morning, throughout my errands I have heard an incessant "ding!" of my phone. Facebook postings and text messages galore! I sure do feel special today!
I arrived at work and was greeted with a loud "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!", which again, who am I to turn away people cheering for my birthday?! I walked into our "stand-up" which is a morning meeting where we all meet at the front of the office. When it was time for me to go to my desk, this is what I saw:
They really went to town with the streamers!! LOL. I love it though. I left it up and have almost crashed into it about 10 times so far! Also got a few "Happy Birthdays" from the staff, and even a sparkly email from our revenue manager! Hoping for some yummy bday cake this afternoon, which seems to be the tradition around here.
Oh, and the figurative "icing on the cake".... I lost 2 more lbs!!!! I am now 212. Holy bageezus it is just falling right off these days!!!! AND I haven't thrown up in about a week. MAJOR PROGRESS!!!! It is as if overnight I either learned to slow down while eating, or my stomach just magically healed up and I am ok. But the best part is that either way, I am still losing weight. I leave for San Antonio on Feb 19, and I hope to lose 5 more lbs before then. We shall see. Either way, I am so thrilled with my surgery's success.
And so, 28 is proving to be a wonderful birthday! I can't wait to see what the rest of the day brings my way :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I made it through!
Yup, that's right, I made it through an entire weekend without throwing up!! WOOHOO!!!!! I seem to have figured out the key.... it isn't as much WHAT I eat, it is the speed at which I eat it. So this weekend for example I had a potato skin. I cut it into small pieces and would eat 2 at a time, wait a bit, chat a bit, and then eat 2 more. And that pattern seemed to work for everything I ate, no matter what it was! This just goes to show that I need to reprogram my brain that food is not scarce and thus I need to take my time and enjoy it rather than shoveling it down my throat!
This weekend I also indulged in a little retail therapy. There has been a lot going on both at work and at home and I was able to get away and Saturday was just absolutely fab. I ended up in Gilroy at the outlets and I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy with the buying. I kept that promise although I did find some KILLER deals. Dress pants for work $3.97. SERIOUSLY?!!! I bought 2. One in the size I am now, and 1 a size smaller.
I also figured that if I was going to spend money I shouldn't spend I should exercise while I am at it. So I parked at one end of each little shopping center and instead of moving my car, like I would have in the past, I just walked around the whole thing and made a circle back to the car! It worked because I weighed in today at 217 fully clothed, which is what I weighed the other day without clothes and at the crack of dawn. So I think I am down another 2 lbs!!! Woohoo!
I also took the time to majorly pamper myself. Got my nails and toes done, my eyebrows waxed, went to the movies, and even purchased a pair of boots that I figure I can wear to the rodeo when I go to San Antonio in a few weeks. That's right, mama's off to the rodeo! YEEHAW!!! lol.
Another notable encounter was with a friend of mine who I have known for going on 3 years now. We hung out and it was so nice to talk to someone objective and just chill. The night life in Gilroy left a lot to be desired but we ended up in Morgan Hill at 1 of the 2 bars there and it was SO FUN!!!! I can't drink so it was definitely interesting how different life is when everyone around you is completely drunk and you're sipping on ice water, but it was nice to know that I can still have fun as a DD. It did help that this group of girls had us rolling in laughter. One needs to be a comedian for sure... I'd pay to listen to her!
Now it's just me and Aidan hanging out at home. She is in her jammies, had cereal and a go-gurt for dinner (awesome mom I know) and I am catching up on FB before we retire. I am also amazed at how I feel hungover and yet I didn't drink! Maybe it is a psychological thing??? lol
This weekend I also indulged in a little retail therapy. There has been a lot going on both at work and at home and I was able to get away and Saturday was just absolutely fab. I ended up in Gilroy at the outlets and I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy with the buying. I kept that promise although I did find some KILLER deals. Dress pants for work $3.97. SERIOUSLY?!!! I bought 2. One in the size I am now, and 1 a size smaller.
I also figured that if I was going to spend money I shouldn't spend I should exercise while I am at it. So I parked at one end of each little shopping center and instead of moving my car, like I would have in the past, I just walked around the whole thing and made a circle back to the car! It worked because I weighed in today at 217 fully clothed, which is what I weighed the other day without clothes and at the crack of dawn. So I think I am down another 2 lbs!!! Woohoo!
I also took the time to majorly pamper myself. Got my nails and toes done, my eyebrows waxed, went to the movies, and even purchased a pair of boots that I figure I can wear to the rodeo when I go to San Antonio in a few weeks. That's right, mama's off to the rodeo! YEEHAW!!! lol.
Another notable encounter was with a friend of mine who I have known for going on 3 years now. We hung out and it was so nice to talk to someone objective and just chill. The night life in Gilroy left a lot to be desired but we ended up in Morgan Hill at 1 of the 2 bars there and it was SO FUN!!!! I can't drink so it was definitely interesting how different life is when everyone around you is completely drunk and you're sipping on ice water, but it was nice to know that I can still have fun as a DD. It did help that this group of girls had us rolling in laughter. One needs to be a comedian for sure... I'd pay to listen to her!
Now it's just me and Aidan hanging out at home. She is in her jammies, had cereal and a go-gurt for dinner (awesome mom I know) and I am catching up on FB before we retire. I am also amazed at how I feel hungover and yet I didn't drink! Maybe it is a psychological thing??? lol
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The bright side
Trying to stay positive these days because since my last stall I have lost 8 or so lbs, which is not shabby at all. I didn't lose anything today but that might be because yesterday was a carb-fest. Not good! Today I was much better and stuck to the majority of what went into my mouth being healthy proteins.
I did attend a ribbon cutting this evening because I am a Chamber of Commerce Ambassador, and they had SOOOO much delicious food. I could have eaten up a storm, pre-sleeve. They had enormous fresh shrimp cocktails, tri-tip on a crostini, smoked salmon on a crostini, mini-quiches, crudite, a HUGE fruit platter, chicken and beef kebobs, the list went on and on and on! AND there was free alcohol which I did not get to enjoy. Interestingly enough, I definitely miss the food way more than the alcohol.
I also had a coworker come to my desk with a picture taken of me at the holiday party this past December and she said that I don't even look the same anymore. I think that is a stretch, but it was nice to hear! I am wondering how much more weight I need to lose to go down another size in clothes. 1 size is great, 2 would be better!! I did do a little mall-walking today to burn some calories, and I returned a few items from Macy's that I am afraid I won't get use out of because I am losing weight fairly quickly. Well who am I kidding... 27 lbs in slightly over a month is crazy fast!
On the work front, it is really weird because I like my job, I just have a weird feeling (not good) about it. My boss is kinda crazy but I don't think she likes me that much. Before I was her golden can do no wrong child. Now I feel like I am the black sheep. Weird how the tides change. Oh well, there are seemingly endless options these days which I appreciate!
Hoping to lose more this week, if not weight then inches. Wish me luck!
I did attend a ribbon cutting this evening because I am a Chamber of Commerce Ambassador, and they had SOOOO much delicious food. I could have eaten up a storm, pre-sleeve. They had enormous fresh shrimp cocktails, tri-tip on a crostini, smoked salmon on a crostini, mini-quiches, crudite, a HUGE fruit platter, chicken and beef kebobs, the list went on and on and on! AND there was free alcohol which I did not get to enjoy. Interestingly enough, I definitely miss the food way more than the alcohol.
I also had a coworker come to my desk with a picture taken of me at the holiday party this past December and she said that I don't even look the same anymore. I think that is a stretch, but it was nice to hear! I am wondering how much more weight I need to lose to go down another size in clothes. 1 size is great, 2 would be better!! I did do a little mall-walking today to burn some calories, and I returned a few items from Macy's that I am afraid I won't get use out of because I am losing weight fairly quickly. Well who am I kidding... 27 lbs in slightly over a month is crazy fast!
On the work front, it is really weird because I like my job, I just have a weird feeling (not good) about it. My boss is kinda crazy but I don't think she likes me that much. Before I was her golden can do no wrong child. Now I feel like I am the black sheep. Weird how the tides change. Oh well, there are seemingly endless options these days which I appreciate!
Hoping to lose more this week, if not weight then inches. Wish me luck!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Sun is Shining!
The sun isn't really shining, but inside of me it SO is! Things have gotten so much better since my last post. I have been feeling good physically and understanding my limits more. However I do notice that if I eat something that my body says "no" to... watch out.
I attended a Chamber of Commerce Annual Dinner last night and I took about 4 bites of salmon with a few bites of asparagus. NOT GOOD! I ended up going to the restroom, barfing. Then I excused myself due to a stomach ache, and when I got to my car I barfed. I figured it was safe to drive home since I felt a little better. Made a phone call and chatted all the way home... almost. Once I exited the freeway I had an immediate urge to vomit. And thank GOD I happened to have a plastic shopping bag in my front seat. I just got violently ill about 4-5 times. Apparently salmon and asparagus are not a good choice for me at the moment!
On the weight front, I am officially 1 size smaller in clothing! And down a total of 26lbs. 26lbs in one month! I feel like I am dreaming this. I lost around 30 lbs 5 or so years ago and it took me about 4-6 months. That was with constant exercise and watching what I eat. I've said it before and I will say it again, it is amazing what a little protein infused starvation will do for you!
The other interesting thing is where I am losing the most weight. My waist has shrunk some, but my "pooch" remains. My thighs are really noticeably shrinking which is weird because I would definitely consider them my biggest problem area. And my arms still have a long way to shrink! I am getting concerned with how the extra skin on my stomach will look because as of right now it is really ugly.
Another development is somehow Roger has conned me into attempting the LA Marathon with him. I am WALKING it.... or at least attempting to. I think that he doesn't grasp how hard it will be for me, but hey, if I can at least try, why not? We leave on Friday night and will be staying in Pasadena. At least it is a good chance to get away, and hopefully to some warm weather! Perhaps where the sun is literally shining ; )
Workwise, I am doing well with numbers but my boss is in a tizzy over everything it seems. We have all come to wonder what it is she does all day in her office because she has lately been giving us all tasks that she used to do. Like thinking of themes for sales blitzes and getting decor. Seriously?! As if I am not busy enough that's another baloney thing I have to do. Thankfully my date isn't until March. Grrrr.
Looking very forward to the beginning of February, my birthday on the 10th and then V-Day! I have 3 valentines who all need some lovin! And hopeful to see another 15-20lbs gone forever!!
I attended a Chamber of Commerce Annual Dinner last night and I took about 4 bites of salmon with a few bites of asparagus. NOT GOOD! I ended up going to the restroom, barfing. Then I excused myself due to a stomach ache, and when I got to my car I barfed. I figured it was safe to drive home since I felt a little better. Made a phone call and chatted all the way home... almost. Once I exited the freeway I had an immediate urge to vomit. And thank GOD I happened to have a plastic shopping bag in my front seat. I just got violently ill about 4-5 times. Apparently salmon and asparagus are not a good choice for me at the moment!
On the weight front, I am officially 1 size smaller in clothing! And down a total of 26lbs. 26lbs in one month! I feel like I am dreaming this. I lost around 30 lbs 5 or so years ago and it took me about 4-6 months. That was with constant exercise and watching what I eat. I've said it before and I will say it again, it is amazing what a little protein infused starvation will do for you!
The other interesting thing is where I am losing the most weight. My waist has shrunk some, but my "pooch" remains. My thighs are really noticeably shrinking which is weird because I would definitely consider them my biggest problem area. And my arms still have a long way to shrink! I am getting concerned with how the extra skin on my stomach will look because as of right now it is really ugly.
Another development is somehow Roger has conned me into attempting the LA Marathon with him. I am WALKING it.... or at least attempting to. I think that he doesn't grasp how hard it will be for me, but hey, if I can at least try, why not? We leave on Friday night and will be staying in Pasadena. At least it is a good chance to get away, and hopefully to some warm weather! Perhaps where the sun is literally shining ; )
Workwise, I am doing well with numbers but my boss is in a tizzy over everything it seems. We have all come to wonder what it is she does all day in her office because she has lately been giving us all tasks that she used to do. Like thinking of themes for sales blitzes and getting decor. Seriously?! As if I am not busy enough that's another baloney thing I have to do. Thankfully my date isn't until March. Grrrr.
Looking very forward to the beginning of February, my birthday on the 10th and then V-Day! I have 3 valentines who all need some lovin! And hopeful to see another 15-20lbs gone forever!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Half & Half
I was trying to think of a creative title for this post because I am half happy, half discouraged with life.
Happy things first:
My clothes are looser! Although I have held pretty steady with a 20lb loss, I am apparently shrinking, and ironically it is in the thigh area! WOOHOO!!!! My stomach isn't shrinking much which my guess is thanks to my baby boy who stretched my skin out to no end. But hey, no complaints there when I can fit comfortably into pants that I haven't worn in months!
I have been trying to eat new things and kind of seeing where it goes and to date haven't had many bad reactions. Except yesterday I tried crab. I am not sure if I ate it too fast or if my body simply said no but I threw up 6+ times and my stomach hurt for over an hour. Normally when I get sick off food, I throw up once or twice and feel better almost immediately. This time, not so much. So crab is on the "do not eat" list for a bit. I did also have sashimi (tuna and salmon) and 1 piece of a spicy tuna roll. YUM!!!!!! And high in protein.
Also, the weather here has been GORGEOUS! High 60s yesterday and we walked to the park with the kids so I got some exercise finally. And lots of it because Benjamin was running all over the place. He is a crazy one, that kid!
Oh and recently a very very good friend of mine got engaged, and she is getting married at Harding Park! That was my very first "wedding planner" job so I know the property well and the ways to avoid wedding pitfalls there. I also offered my services on contacting vendors because thanks to NACE I now know a lot of people in the industry. Plus I love my friend and want her to have the wedding of her dreams!!!! So YAY for Joannah and Chris!
Lastly, 2 of my cousins born on the same day of the same year were diagnosed with cancer within a year. BOTH are now cancer free! I cannot tell you how amazing this news is. It is crushing to hear that a) those close to you who you love have cancer but b) that it is happening to 2 young women who are both incredibly bright, beautiful, and loving. So to hear that they are both doing well is amazing. This morning has been wonderful in the news department!
And now the bummers:
First of all my weight loss has been stuck for about a week now. That blows. But like I said, I am shrinking. So not too much of a complaint. I figure that at some point I have to start loosing again because I am only consuming 6-800 calories a day if that. I am putting myself back on a primarily liquid diet today and really focusing on getting in my water because I have noticed that when I eat, I drink a lot less. And I have been told numerous times that if I want to lose weight I need to drink tons of water and up my protein intake. So.. back to square 1. This time I don't mind as much because I have seen results and I want to see more!
Another issue I am dealing with is Roger thinking that he knows everything about bariatric surgery because his cousin who lives 2500 miles away had gastric bypass surgery 5-6 years ago, lost 50lbs and kind of gave up. Oh and I can't forget his dear friend Shelly (think "My Best Friend's Wedding" where the girl figures that at some point she and her guy best friend will get married one day bc they are both still single... yeah she didn't figure a feisty brunette and 2 kids would ever enter the picture) had gastric bypass 5-6 yrs ago and although she has lost at least 100 lbs has gained some back and occasionally eats at fast food places. Anyhow, last night we got into it because I said "The one thing I miss most since having the surgery is Diet Pepsi". It's true. I was a Diet Pepsi addict. I love the flavor and more than anything I love the bubbles! But because of the sleeve carbonation supposedly hurts like holy hell and I am not willing to test that theory out! So he went on a rampage about how I obviously have not tackled the emotional aspects of weight loss surgery and I should hate diet pepsi because it made me the way I was and I am trying to change, yada yada yada. When exactly he got his PhD I am not sure, but listening to a 139lb, 6ft tall, anorexic man tell me about weight loss psychology just made me want to punch him in his nose. It just reminded me that in life there are few people who can simply listen to you without judgement. So, if you are my friend and we have had discussions about life by simply listening to each other... THANK YOU! I need people like that.
So this entire discussion turned ugly but also made me question whether or not I am going to succeed. I feel like he is always there waiting for me to fail rather than building me up. It's like when you tell someone you're on a diet and you reach for a cookie and they say "you can't have that". I know they care and want to help but pointing out everything you can't have certainly doesn't make you want to eat better. And chances are in life, you will eat a cookie at some point. But to be able to take a small bite of a cookie as opposed to eating the entire bag like you used to.... to me that is progress! To him it's an alcoholic having a sip of a cocktail. I don't know who is right, but I do know that in life I will at times take a bite of something that isn't all protein. It's just really frustrating.
*** My mom did not feel comfortable with me talking about her on my blog so I have deleted a paragraph. I stand by my original post, but respect my mom's wishes. So that's that.
Alas, that is my update. I'm at work and debating on if I want to work today! haha. I really should get focused and get moving!
Happy things first:
My clothes are looser! Although I have held pretty steady with a 20lb loss, I am apparently shrinking, and ironically it is in the thigh area! WOOHOO!!!! My stomach isn't shrinking much which my guess is thanks to my baby boy who stretched my skin out to no end. But hey, no complaints there when I can fit comfortably into pants that I haven't worn in months!
I have been trying to eat new things and kind of seeing where it goes and to date haven't had many bad reactions. Except yesterday I tried crab. I am not sure if I ate it too fast or if my body simply said no but I threw up 6+ times and my stomach hurt for over an hour. Normally when I get sick off food, I throw up once or twice and feel better almost immediately. This time, not so much. So crab is on the "do not eat" list for a bit. I did also have sashimi (tuna and salmon) and 1 piece of a spicy tuna roll. YUM!!!!!! And high in protein.
Also, the weather here has been GORGEOUS! High 60s yesterday and we walked to the park with the kids so I got some exercise finally. And lots of it because Benjamin was running all over the place. He is a crazy one, that kid!
Oh and recently a very very good friend of mine got engaged, and she is getting married at Harding Park! That was my very first "wedding planner" job so I know the property well and the ways to avoid wedding pitfalls there. I also offered my services on contacting vendors because thanks to NACE I now know a lot of people in the industry. Plus I love my friend and want her to have the wedding of her dreams!!!! So YAY for Joannah and Chris!
Lastly, 2 of my cousins born on the same day of the same year were diagnosed with cancer within a year. BOTH are now cancer free! I cannot tell you how amazing this news is. It is crushing to hear that a) those close to you who you love have cancer but b) that it is happening to 2 young women who are both incredibly bright, beautiful, and loving. So to hear that they are both doing well is amazing. This morning has been wonderful in the news department!
And now the bummers:
First of all my weight loss has been stuck for about a week now. That blows. But like I said, I am shrinking. So not too much of a complaint. I figure that at some point I have to start loosing again because I am only consuming 6-800 calories a day if that. I am putting myself back on a primarily liquid diet today and really focusing on getting in my water because I have noticed that when I eat, I drink a lot less. And I have been told numerous times that if I want to lose weight I need to drink tons of water and up my protein intake. So.. back to square 1. This time I don't mind as much because I have seen results and I want to see more!
Another issue I am dealing with is Roger thinking that he knows everything about bariatric surgery because his cousin who lives 2500 miles away had gastric bypass surgery 5-6 years ago, lost 50lbs and kind of gave up. Oh and I can't forget his dear friend Shelly (think "My Best Friend's Wedding" where the girl figures that at some point she and her guy best friend will get married one day bc they are both still single... yeah she didn't figure a feisty brunette and 2 kids would ever enter the picture) had gastric bypass 5-6 yrs ago and although she has lost at least 100 lbs has gained some back and occasionally eats at fast food places. Anyhow, last night we got into it because I said "The one thing I miss most since having the surgery is Diet Pepsi". It's true. I was a Diet Pepsi addict. I love the flavor and more than anything I love the bubbles! But because of the sleeve carbonation supposedly hurts like holy hell and I am not willing to test that theory out! So he went on a rampage about how I obviously have not tackled the emotional aspects of weight loss surgery and I should hate diet pepsi because it made me the way I was and I am trying to change, yada yada yada. When exactly he got his PhD I am not sure, but listening to a 139lb, 6ft tall, anorexic man tell me about weight loss psychology just made me want to punch him in his nose. It just reminded me that in life there are few people who can simply listen to you without judgement. So, if you are my friend and we have had discussions about life by simply listening to each other... THANK YOU! I need people like that.
So this entire discussion turned ugly but also made me question whether or not I am going to succeed. I feel like he is always there waiting for me to fail rather than building me up. It's like when you tell someone you're on a diet and you reach for a cookie and they say "you can't have that". I know they care and want to help but pointing out everything you can't have certainly doesn't make you want to eat better. And chances are in life, you will eat a cookie at some point. But to be able to take a small bite of a cookie as opposed to eating the entire bag like you used to.... to me that is progress! To him it's an alcoholic having a sip of a cocktail. I don't know who is right, but I do know that in life I will at times take a bite of something that isn't all protein. It's just really frustrating.
*** My mom did not feel comfortable with me talking about her on my blog so I have deleted a paragraph. I stand by my original post, but respect my mom's wishes. So that's that.
Alas, that is my update. I'm at work and debating on if I want to work today! haha. I really should get focused and get moving!
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