Inspiration

As I mentioned in my last post, I am really lucky to have found the person who I am dating.  He was right under my nose and I had very pointedly kept him strictly in the "friend zone" for nearly 4 years!  In fact, I remember telling him "I wish I had a friend to set you up with!" because he was honestly the nicest man I had ever met... aside from my dad of course.  But I just wasn't in the mind set to see him in a romantic light.  Afterall, I was still dealing with my ex husband (pre - him being a husband, but perpetually being ex and not ex) and I was in no position to move on to anyone, let alone B.

Well, when I moved into my own place, I texted him, which is no shocker.  Throughout the past 4 years we have texted on occasion and discussed everything from my relationship with RB to the weather.  But this time I simply told him that I had moved out FINALLY.  He responded by telling me that if I needed anything at all, to let him know... and we continued on the conversation to discuss the 49ers being in the championships that upcoming weekend.

Well, long story short, he invited me to the game (as friends!) and I of course, jumped at the chance to see my very first football game.  And the rest is kind of history.  He has been an absolutely amazing support throughout this entire divorce and custody battle, and I cannot imagine being without him.  And I credit all of this to my old coworker Dave whose famous words make me laugh even now "Can I date him?!  Seriously! He sounds like a keeper!".  I guess I finally pulled my head out of my butt and snagged B before someone else got to him!

Anyway, the point of the story is that one thing about our relationship that I really appreciate is that he is always supportive of my weight loss and consistently encourages me to make good choices and stay on plan.  He also is a "big boy" and has some weight to lose.  And now that we are together he claims that I have inspired him to get healthy and make some life changes.  And he really has!  Since February 1, he has lost 45 lbs!  Holy smokes!

I think that one key to long term success after surgery is having emotional and physical support to maintain weightloss.  I am very guilty of "stress eating" as I mentioned before, so to have someone I can discuss this with who understands what it is like to be overweight and to have lost a bunch is critical.  I am not saying I have to be romantically involved with the person, but it just so happens to have worked out that way in this situation!

Also, I have tried to be proactive in doing things that I have always WANTED to do, but for whatever reason have not been a priority.  So a few weeks ago I decided that Saturday morning, B and I were going for a hike!  The good sport that he is, he was game.  What neither of us realized was the intensity of the hike!   I downloaded a trail app on my phone to find local trails and we ended up at Henry Coe State Park, about a 15 minute drive from his house.  This particular weekend was a record high after many weeks of rain so we expected heat and had "prepared" with water, sunscreen etc.  When we parked the car, a ranger was at the parking lot and I thought it would be a good idea to ask about the trail I had chosen, etc.  She said that she would recommend taking a different trail which was not as steep and more shady, and she also recommended more water for each of us.  Thankfully we had more in the car and grabbed it before heading up the 1780ft ascent to the top of the ridge!

The hike up was fairly easy for me.  Afterall I am only lugging around about 135lbs and am much more physically fit than I used to be.  I was more concerned with getting a tan and swatting away bugs.  B on the other hand was sweating, that's for sure!  But with that said, he did an AMAZING job.  Not once did he complain, not once did he give up... he just kept on trucking. And he did it with a smile.  To say that I am proud of him is an understatement.  After about 2 hours for our ascent and Lord knows how many switchbacks, we reached the top of the ridge!  And of course had to take a picture to commemorate the success!

The way back down we thought we were slick and just going to take the direct trail back down the mountain.  The ranger had advised against this and told us that it was a "knee jammer" but it had taken us so long to get up there, we just wanted to get back to the car to go shower and enjoy the rest of the day!  Ummm BIG MISTAKE!!!!  I had worn running shorts and there were parts of the trail that were covered in some type of spiky bushes and also weeds up to my chest.  My legs were so red and swollen and in some parts even bleeding!  That is not to mention about an 80% decline in parts of the trail.  I was running my own switchbacks just because I had visions of toppling down the mountain!  But alas, we made it to the parking lot, and were SO very glad that we got back when we did.  I needed a nap and a shower!

But the moral of that story is that both of us were super proud of our accomplishment that morning.  And both of us have memories and the ambition to attack the trail again, hopefully beating our time and also remembering that the way up is the way we need to come back down!  Slow and steady wins the race.

So with that fabulous saying, here are some pictures of B's progress... the first picture is on our first "not a date" date. 

 And 3 months later to the day after our hike at a family BBQ

I am so proud of him and also so excited to see what the next 3, 6, 9 months bring for our relationship and his weightloss journey!  Of course I will be documenting it with pictures... can't fight force of habit!

And with that, I say sayunara.... tomorrow night we will be on a plane for the vacation of a lifetime... details to be revealed upon our return!

The Mommies

I have contemplated exactly what I want to say in this blog post for a few days. Do I want to focus on my weight? Do I want to focus on my new relationship? Do I want to focus on my house decor? But this Wednesday something happened that shocked me, and also made me realize that I would fight for my children to the ends of the earth.... and the other big surprise to me was the two ladies by my side who assured me that there was nowhere they would rather be than supporting me.

When I became pregnant with my daughter back in March of 2007, I was in shock. She was a "surprise" (let's use that term loosely) and I didn't have any one to talk to. So, I went online and found a website with an online message board that had specific sections for each month babies were due that particular year. I joined the November 2007 Due Date Club, and started posting. We spoke about pregnancy, our lives, our hopes and fears.... pretty much every topic a woman can chat about, we did.

And come November our babies were born, and our conversations flowed into breastfeeding, and diaper rash, and our lack of sleep. And then it was the terrible twos, and crazy threes, and second babies, and preschool.... just a timeline of life. But throughout the past 5 years, so much has happened to some of the individual women, that our chatter has become very serious. We have dealt with cancer, with families losing a home to fire, with abandonment, I mean.... you name it and we have gotten through it.

I started the group as a casual poster and observer, and I think back then my heart was much harder. I could never understand why some of the women made such a big deal about meeting, or talking to each other, because afterall, these were just some online "imaginary" people where all we had in common was our kids just so happened to be born in the same month. But, what I did witness was kindness of heart, emotional support, and incredible generosity. Even for events that happen to everyone in life, like the loss of an elderly loved one, the girls come together and chip in for flowers, or a small gift just to cheer another's day. When one mom let it slip that she was excited because an organization near her had made it possible for her to get a kitchen table and chairs, the ENTIRE group was shocked... we had no idea times were so tough for her and her children. And in response nearly every single member of our group did SOMETHING...whether it be a giftcard to Target, or a home good, basically ANYTHING they could think of to show her support and love and also that she is not alone.

Seeing all of this amazed me. I mean, how often is it that virtual strangers go above and beyond with random acts of kindness? Not too often in my experience. I personally have not had any true financial struggles in the sense that my family has always been wonderful in helping me out, but recently my divorce and custody battle has been challenging. The women all know what is happening and are very supportive emotionally. Afterall, what can they really do? Not much other than cheer me on and assure me that I am a good mom and that things will work out.

Well, my last post included my friend Meg and our Kelly Clarkson concert voyage, and she is one of the few women who I have been fortunate enough to meet in person. Heidi, another member of our group was flying into SF for the weekend and made a point to let us know well in advance so we could schedule lunch with her this past week. So, on Wednesday I get up, get ready for work, return my lawyer's phone call discussing what has been going on with my legal issues, and head into work. At around 10am I get an email from him regarding my soon to be ex husband's lawyer's response to his email. I respond. And at 11am I get a phone call that rocked my world. My ex husband was attempting to achieve full custody of my children on an emergency custody order. I had to be in court that day at 1pm.

So I called Meg, who was on her way to the airport to pick up Heidi for our lunch date and told her that I wouldn't be able to make it because of all of the legal drama unfolding. Her response: Do not leave I am coming to your office RIGHT NOW. Apparently she hung up the phone with me and let Heidi know she was picking me up on her way to the airport and we were going to fight for my kids TOGETHER. I felt guilty asking them to come... I mean Heidi is on vacation, and Meg had just driven for two hours to get here... they should just go and enjoy their day. But no, Meg insisted that there is nowhere she would rather be than by my side. So we grabbed Heidi at the airport, said "so nice to finally meet you!" and headed to the courthouse.

I cannot explain in words how wonderful it felt to have physical support with me for the hearing. Thankfully the judge saw right through the paperwork and denied his request and re-set the hearing for a later date. But no matter how much you know in your heart that you are a good parent and have done nothing to harm your children, there is always that chance that something could go terribly wrong. I do not know what I would do. And I will be the first one to admit, I was scared. Horribly, terribly, scared.

With a sigh of relief we were able to leave the courthouse successfully but as a little army. The Mommy Army! None of us had our kids that day so we felt out of sorts but it was so nice to just enjoy talking to each other and laughing and rehashing the events that just took place. I grew up an only child until I was 13 when my mom had my little brothers, and my sister who I love dearly, and I are not very close, so this is my first real experience with "sisters". I honestly think of my group of "mommies" as sisters, and our bond transcends what an outsider can understand. Roger would often comment about how my friends are imaginary and I have no "real" friends. Well, the truth of the matter is that my friends are "real" alright... we just met in an unconventional way. And they are so real that they would have my back in a minute. The proof is in the pudding!

Here are my beautiful friends who I love dearly, and who I sincerely wish I got to spend time with more often... Heidi and Meg.

They're beautiful huh?! Yup these are some hot mamas!

On to the kiddos.... Benji's surgery went well according to the surgeon. Roger and I were able to work together and focus on his care which was really nice (and which made his custody filing even more shocking because it was AFTER we had successfully co-parented after a major medical issue). And he is on the mend with no complications. However, as a parent, there is nothing more heart wrenching than seeing your child on a hospital bed, being put under general anesthesia. The minute I left the room I started crying. But, I know for certain that this surgery is going to better his life and make him more physically comfortable so I am glad that we got it done and can move forward. I fell in love with my little boy the minute I saw him and there is just something about his little face that melts me. As you can see in this picture, he is doing great and growing so quickly!

And his big sis.... well, that crazy girl LOVES to drive her mama crazy! And in between the sass is the most loving, affectionate, smart, absolutely INCREDIBLE little girl. Aidan manages to make me laugh, fall in love, and make me want to pull my hair out in one foul swoop. She is 4 going on 25. She loves her brother, but hates sharing her mom. And she also loves anything and everything girly. All she wants to know each morning is if she can wear a dress to school. Or if she can borrow one of my necklaces. Or if she is allowed to bring her "lipstick" to school. The teenage years are sure to do me in!
I love my little princess.... she definitely takes after me personality wise which can only mean one thing.... trouble!

And in quickie housing updates, here is a quick pic of the green bedroom... I still have to put some pictures on the walls to spruce it up, but the kids ended up getting beds to suit each of them. They are super fun and should entice them to each stay in their beds at night, right?! Ummm no. We have been having challenges with them staying put... 3 in a full sized bed (mine) is challenging to say the least. So.... we just have to keep on coming up with ideas to help them stay in their own beds while Mom is in hers. Any suggestions or ideas are much appreciated!

Lastly, with everything going on I could not be more stressed out. With work, and kids, and legal battles, etc etc... life has just been crazy. I found that I was stress eating and started to really worry about gaining my weight back. I had bounced back up to the high 130s and decided to take advantage of my doctor's aftercare plan that I was forced to buy when I chose him as my surgeon. Well, I am glad that he requires it because a) I don't have health insurance right this moment and b) I have taken advantage of it more than once in the past year and some months. I was able to get some medical assistance and have since been able to go back down to 134, a very respectable number :)

And then of course my tropical vacation is right around the corner at this point... I have my bikinis ready to go, and although I have my tummy skin, I am pretty proud of my figure. One thing that I really appreciate about my new relationship is my partner's freedom with kind words. It never gets old to hear you are beautiful or smart or sexy. At least not to me! And the best part is that he makes me FEEL all of those fabulous things. He also does things like this:

and to be honest the picture does the arrangement NO justice whatsoever... it is about 3 feet tall and 2 feet wide and just GORGEOUS. And the best part... I had no idea it was coming. He sent it "just because". I have never in my life been treated so well by a man. It's not just gifts, it's his kindness, generosity, PATIENCE (I capitalize this because I know I am a challenging woman!), and the craziest part.... often time I feel like he knows what I need, even when I can't put it into words. He knows when to shut up and listen, when to give me a hug, and when I need someone to tell me what's what. I can only imagine what the future holds based on how things are right now.

So although life has been absolutely insane, each day I am reminded about my blessings. I have so much to be thankful for, so much to look forward to, and I am surrounded by amazing people EVERY SINGLE DAY. I pray that the storm eventually calms and I can just enjoy life again. I guess time will tell.

The Reveal

Wow! March flew right by without me even noticing! It is amazing how quickly time passes when each week is divided into "weekend with kids" "weekend without". While I would never wish on any child a broken home, I do find that I really go out of my way to plan fun experiences during any time I have them.

But wait... I will get to that later. First let's start with some "after" photos of the apartment! My shower curtain got rave reviews from my very first overnight guest.... my friend Meg! She drove down from Sacramento to see Kelly Clarkson with me (won free tickets on the radio!!!!) down in San Jose and that was way too far of a drive back up, so we had a blast having girl time and rocking out to Kelly! She also loved my shower curtain!! haha

So without further ado... my "finished" bathroom! Oh and btw this is all you get to see because my iphone died and it had all of my apartment photos on it!! I have yet to do another "shoot".

What I can tell you, however, is that as more and more time passes, I definitely can see the kids feeling more comfortable in our little home. Benji loves building his train tracks in the living room and racing around this talking truck thing that Brian got for him. Aidan spends the majority of her time dressing up and putting on 100 layers of Bonne Bell lip gloss, or drawing me beautiful pictures with her favorite tool.. markers! The one challenge is the two of them not annoying each other! Siblings, I tell ya! ; )

Something that I have been making a point of doing is planning a really fun activity for my Saturdays with them, and then Sundays I go to my parents' house for the day so that they can spend some QT with their uncles and grandparents. If I have learned one thing through all of this it is that the support and love of family makes all the difference in the world! And they really do have so much fun with my brothers and parents.

The weekend before last, we went to the California Railway Museum, allll the way up in Sacramento. Here is a link: http://www.csrmf.org/ Benjamin ADORES trains, so Brian came along and we all got to check out the hundreds of trains! And ride one of course. Aidan liked it, but was more concerned with wearing her bridal veil and eating taffy, than she was with checking out the trains. She did however know the difference between a diesel train and a non-diesel train. That blew my mind. How does she know this stuff?!!! Benji LOVED looking at everything, riding the train, etc. He still tells me about how he rode a BIG TRAIN! The one bummer was the weather... it was pouring rain. So although being inside the museum was fine, we didn't really have a chance to enjoy Old Town Sacramento. I have to say, we will definitely be back up there again! And hopefully get to check more out around town. We did however stop for some taffy for Aidan, because that girl has the biggest sweet tooth!
Of course you can see her treat in her mouth! haha Oh and her veil of course. Meanwhile Benji was getting down with his ice cream! So fun!

Our custody schedule includes us sharing the kids every other weekend, but this year I got to have the kids for Easter. Such a fun holiday! Aidan was so excited to wear her Easter dress and go to church. I had the decision of if I wanted to go in San Leandro, with their godparents, to a lively Easter celebration, or to SF with my parents to a Catholic Mass. Location and the fact that I knew the kids would enjoy the lively celebration more made my decision for me. We had a really great service and the kids survived being in their "classrooms" although Benji was not so happy about it. The next morning he asked me about his "classroom" and told me he wanted to go to his OTHER classroom. I asked him, "the one with Miss Krissie?" and he said "Ya!". So I told him that indeed he got to see Miss Krissie that day and he goes "Thank you Mama!". So darn adorable, that Boy! Here is a pic of the two of them before Church.... probably the cutest of both of them together and looking at the camera that I have snagged in awhile!

And some news that needs prayers is that Benji will be having surgery for his ear tubes, tonsils, and adenoids tomorrow. I am nervous because I hate the thought of him being in pain, but I also know that this will make such an impact on his growth and development and also just simply his comfort level. So if you can spare any "heal quickly" prayers for my little man, please do! We will be at the hospital tomorrow morning.

On a brighter note, my weight has remained pretty steady. I have gained a few "love lbs" thanks to opting to spend more time with Brian than I do at the gym, but our trip is rapidly approaching and we both decided to crack down on the weightloss plan! I want to lose 5 lbs before we go (May 1). We shall see. He is hardcore and is pretty strict with his eating and also sees a trainer 3 days a week, so I am proud of him! It is pretty cool to see him change right before my very eyes... I think he has lost something like 40lbs since January? That's a lot! It is really wonderful to have a partner in this journey who totally understands my weight issues and wants to work on ourselves TOGETHER and support each other's goals.

So, with the topic of goals in mind, the organization that I am actively involved in, San Francisco NACE, had a goal of having the meeting of the century with the one and only Preston Bailey... wedding planner extraordinaire! If you are asking Who the hell is Preston Bailey.. google him! The event was at the Julia Morgan Ballroom in downtown SF and that venue is just GORGEOUS. I mean really... it is incredible. The architectural detail is exquisite old SF. Wow! Anyway, it was even more fun because almost all of my industry friends made an appearance and I also got to sit AT PRESTON'S TABLE!!! Omg. Crazy huh?! I knew I was sitting with him, so what better opportunity to rock my new dress than last night?!

It was a great event, he was actually very honest, and quite open about how he got his start, his successes, failures, weaknesses, learning lessons, etc. Much more interesting than I had anticipated. And he explained that when he met with Joan Rivers to do her daughter's first wedding, she told him "I want people to walk in and say "HOLY SHIT!"". So he took it from there. Later on in his presentation he showed some pics of recent events. I swear to you, the first words out of my mouth during the first slide.... HOLY SHIT!!!! Lol! How funny is that?! He definitely creates magical event spaces and really makes you wonder.... how does he think of that?!!!

He also showed some slides of "oops" events. And let me tell ya, they were WAY worse than anyone could imagine! Even Preston Bailey has learned some hard knocks!

But the best part about attending any of these events is meeting new people, and also seeing all of my friends there. I have managed to build relationships with some really truly amazing people and I am so grateful! They understand the craziness of my job at times, and they are just super FUN! I am not sure how these pictures will space themselves out but the blonde lady is my friend Erin who I met right when I started working where I do now. She cracks me up because she totally looks like an uptight, waspy, lady, and she is SOOOOO NOT! She is hilarious and so much fun to hang out with! And then the crew in the Scribble Wall Pic is all of my NACE people who I love dearly! From left to right: Mimi www.creativedesignsbymimi.com, Sarah, from Sarah Ward Events, me :), Jason www.joelnelsonproductions.com, Lolita from the Lafayette Park Hotel, and Valerie www.alovesinbloom.com.

So when my friend Leslie said "I'm kinda jealous of myself right now!" on our Friday wine tasting trip "for work".... truth be told I feel like that A LOT! I am so blessed. Truly. I have not been happier in my entire life. And the story of this blog.. my weight loss surgery, has so much to do with it. I have become a different person, inside and out. And I finally love me :)

Home sweet ALMOST home :)

Well, it has been slightly over a month now since I moved into my own place. The month started out extremely challenging. The main reason being the children. Not only is it a new space, but it is the first time all 3 of us have had to sleep in the same room! I started out thinking that Benji would sleep in a converted crib and Aidan in bed with me, but after the first night it was blatantly obvious that that was NOT an option! I didn't get much sleep the first week, and finally was able to get each kid a bed. Aidan has a fabulous princess canopy bed & Benji ended up with a Firetruck bed. Both of them are awesome and the kids will sleep in them, although every now and again I have little monkies slipping into bed with me.

Also, I am one of those people who live to make a house a home, even one that I don't intend to live in forever. So I am sharing some "before" photos to give you an idea of the layout of my new place. Here is the living room.... and yes, it really started out like this!!!! haha

And then there is my little kitchen. Not much counter space, sadly. HOWEVER, there is a nook for a breakfast table which I love and which I felt the need to paint as an accent wall!

These pictures are very very very "before".... It is making me think I need quickly share the "after"s!

Here is the bedroom before.... everything in the place was offwhite (I HATE off white paint)

And with some green paint, patience, and some awesome help, this is the new color of the bedroom!

It is a little more green than I had anticipated but it is great to have color in any capacity. Livens up the place! Oh and that rug is not there anymore.

And then my awesome original tiled bathroom... PINK original tile, oy vey! I didn't know what to do with it until we went to Home Goods and I saw the cutest shower curtain (to be revealed in my next post) and that darn shower curtain inspired the CUTEST bathroom! And despite the old tile, it has new floors, new paint, and tons of useful storage... so i am not complaining!

Lastly, one of the main reasons I love my little apartment is the fact that I have in unit laundry. FULL SIZE in unit laundry! And for someone who is obsessed with laundry like myself, this is heavenly. I am lucky to have an eternal handy-man in Brian, who helped me paint, install laundry machines, switch out door knobs, hang pictures, hang curtains, install cable... you name it he did it. And I am sure he will be thrilled with me posting this picture in here! haha

Here he is installing my washer & dryer. AWSESOME!

Throughout the month I have tried my best to make it feel like "home" and it does... sort of. Until things like what happened last night go on. I picked the kids up from school, stopped to grab some food for dinner, and as I am coming towards my block, I see police caution tape blocking my street. And I look on and just MY block is roped off, with about 4 or 5 police cars blocking the way. Awesome. Talk about making me feel safe. Thankfully I was able to park on a side street and walk to my house (with kids in tow, mind you) but it is times like these that I question my success as a parent. I feel like I should be providing a safe environment and caution tape is not on my list of "good" things for kids to see :(.

Thankfully this morning everything was cleared away and I still do not know what exactly happened. I can only think of two options: murder or a car accident. Both are not good.

Aside from all of this, it is such a blessing to have my aunt and her husband next door to us. The kids adore Lily, their mini-doxie, and I love having someone to chat with, or someone for the kids to go hang out with while I make dinner. These two also happen to be their godparents so it is a nice way for them to be close as well. We hadn't seen them in awhile prior to moving in so it truly is a blessing being so close. Plus my aunt is loving getting all of my hand me downs! She had WLS last year and is doing great, but she is flying through clothes just like I was! So nearly every day I find SOMETHING to give to her and say "enjoy!". It's the least I can do, with all the help they give me :)

Oh and I am not sure if I mentioned it, but my surgeon asked me to star in his promotional online video. It was fun! And they finally have it up and running: http://beta.locateadoc.com/profile/welcome/314052. I have yet to listen to it with sound but when I watch it without, all I notice is how I make funny faces when I talk and OMG I blink like I have something in my eyes!!! haha. Must've been the bright lights and talking into a camera... whole new respect for reality TV people when they give their little one on one camera interviews!

Still holding on to my 110lb weight loss. Gotta kick things into gear because I have a tropical vacation coming up in a few months and you better believe I WILL be in a bikini, saggy skin and all!

Long time no posty!

I have been subliminally procrastinating writing a new blog post because I do believe that some parts of my life are private and do not need to be posted on a public blog.

So the abridged version of the last month and a half include

s:

• I moved into my parents' house with the kids after leaving Roger early January (and after his sister moving into our house)
• Dave, my "work husband" left our company and got a new job else where, devastating me (and forcing me to demand jewelry as a break up gift! haha)
• My friends, family, coworkers, and boss, showed me what love & support really means (and shocked me with their generosity and kindness)
• I moved into my OWN place!!! I have never ever lived alone before.
• And my birthday is tomorrow!

So, obviously that glosses over the issue of divorce because again, I think that is a private matter, but I moved out, got my own place, and am moving on with my life. For once, I feel like I took the "high road" and really just wanted to make the transition as easy as possible for the children. They did struggle while we were staying with my parents, because it wasn't split into mom's house & dad's house... it was Grandma's house. So they just saw it as being away from home :( Although that part sucked, it was absolutely wonderful to have the love and support of my family. Who wouldn't like to stay with their Grandpa who firmly believes in spoiling them?!!!!

Or spending time with their very very favorite uncles who tickle them, build train tracks with them, or even take the time to sit down and make puzzles?!

Or, the best part of being at Grandma's house just may be getting to have pets! We all LOVE Pearl, the very best dog in the world!

So, even though it wasn't "home" (well, it was for me....) it was a safe haven, and a much needed escape from Camp Crazy.

I didn't last too long at my parents' because I was getting killed with tolls, gas, and simply time. It would take upwards of an hour just to get the kids to school in San Leandro, and then I would commute back to Burlingame, and then back to San Leandro, then back to SF. I was spending 3 hours per day in the car, driving about 150 miles, round trip, and spending $10 on tolls a day. Miserable. Absolutely miserable.

So, this amazing thing called prayer really works.... and also it works for those who help themselves; the whole "seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive" thing. I was trying to hard to find a place, but I knew that I needed a deposit. And rent prices in the Bay Area are sky high right now. I mean, piece of crap apartments are going for over $1000/month in horrible neighborhoods. It is terrible. I knew I wanted to be in the East Bay, preferrably San Leandro/Hayward because of the kids' school, but ultimately I just wanted to find a place, move in, and be able for my kids to call it home.

So, I asked, I received, and I moved in! I am currently living in the "hood"... I'd say "ghetto" but that might be offensive. Let's just say I don't go out at night :)

Never in my life have I lived with a gate to "protect" my front door but you know what they say "When in Rome...". Better safe than sorry, quote frankly! And my door/welcome mat are most likely the friendliest in the neighborhood! Who else has a Happy Valentine's Day sign???? That's right, just me! BUT, with that said, the apartment itself is pretty close to perfect. Except for 1 thing, but I will get to that in a minute. The apartment is in a 4-plex, owned by my "aunt"'s brother in law. He is awesome. So kind, and my rent is extremely reasonable. I was able to move right in. Fabulous.

It was a beautiful, wonderful, fabulous day when I moved in. That smile is bright and so so genuine!

Back to the whole "ask and you shall receive" thing.... I moved out with literally my clothes, jewelry, a couple assorted kid things, my dresser, and the washing machine. I have managed to furnish my ENTIRE apartment with: free items off of Craigslist, hand me downs from family and friends, and the extreme generosity of a special friend. When I say "I feel blessed" there is no way that the statement can truly express how I feel. And there is no way that I would have stayed in a messed up relationship for physical "things". Better to have peace of mind and nothing than insanity and some couches.

While all of this was going on, my coworker Dave gave 2 week notice. Most people probably cannot understand why I dwell on this, but Dave and I had become very close. He is married with a lovely wife & baby daughter and he is just one of those people who is so genuine and so kind, you can't help but love him! We also were a team... he did the manly stuff, I did the girly stuff, and more often then not, people assumed I was his wife. So, although he would make a lovely husband, he obviously wasn't mine, but we joked all the time that he was my "work husband". When he quit, I felt like I had gotten dumped!!! Omg, traumatic. I know that his choice was the best thing for him and his family, and I am still in contact with them, but I do miss him! Now, the amazing boss that she is, my boss Karen let us girls have our own little "goodbye" party for Dave.... the week after he left we went and got mani-pedis!!! lol

I went the fake nail route, because after moving my nails were TRASHED. Every time I get them, I hate them because it makes me "all thumbs" (chuckle chuckle), but I will say, the end result is very pretty! I am so not used to seeing perfect frenchly manicured nails and a naked wedding ring finger : ( But, hey.... they look pretty! :) Oh and ftr, my finger is now a size 5. HOLY CRAP!

Luckily, my moving weekend fell on a weekend sans children, so I was able to take time and paint some walls, put everything away, and get somewhat set up, without my 2 littles underneath me. As I mentioned before, the apartment is pretty much perfect with the exception of 2 things: the location, as previously discussed, and also, it is only a 1 bedroom :( The positives: in unit laundry (full size!!!), good sized bathroom with new paint, new floor, new fixtures, great closet space, a garage for storage (my car would fit but not with my crap in it), a parking spot RIGHT OUT FRONT! (in this neighborhood, Lord knows I need it) and my only utility is electric. Awesome right?! Well, awesome except it is a 1 bedroom. Did I mention I have 2 kids 50% of the time?????

So, the first attempt at sleeping arrangements was me sleeping on the couch, Aidan in my bed, and Benji in his converted crib. Yeah that was a joke. Benji AND Aidan wanted to be in the "big bed", yet they didn't want to sleep with each other. I was up all night, worried Benji would fall off the side of the bed (I hadn't prepared with a railing), getting smacked from both sides, and it was just a disaster area. I knew I needed toddler beds for BOTH of them. So, the following week I was able to get a princess bed for Aidan, a firetruck bed for Benji, and I downsized from a queen to a full, thanks to my parents' collection of different sized beds ; ) The set up seemed ideal. Yeah.... except my children STILL want to sleep with me! AHHHHHHH!!!! Benji is doing much better than his big sis though, and he will sleep through the night in his firetruck. Aidan on the other hand... she lasts about half the night, and most recently she has said screw the princess bed, she wants mommy.

I can't say that I blame her... she has a cough and it definitely keeps her up at night :( On Tuesday night, she refused to take her cough medicine so it was a LOUD LOUD cough that was preventing Benji from falling asleep to begin with. I had the bright idea of doing a little camp out in the living room for her, so Benji could at least get some rest. Yeah, Princess LOVED that idea! Partay! Check out this smile.... she even got midnight snacks from Mom... crazy girl! So, at least Benji got some rest, Aidan did as well, albeit amidst coughing, and Mom... yeah no rest for the weary. I spent the night running between the living room and the bedroom because Benji refused to sleep in his own bed so he was in mine, and Aidan woke up every few hours looking for me, and you can't fit both of us on the couch. I love my children to death but I can't deny that I was looking forward to my own lonely bed last night!

And speaking of last night.... dinner party/pre-birthday dinner!!!! The company I work for had traded some rentals for a dinner party and we arranged it to be a "birthday" dinner for me! SOOO FUN!!! We invited significant others, and some of our very favorite clients, and it was a blast! AND little did I know.... I got presents!!!! Lindsey (client) brought me beautiful tulips and an enormous Hershey's kiss. And Erin (former client/friend) gave me this ADORABLE custom cake stand! I love it!!!! It goes with the "theme" of my kitchen (I was going for French country-ish, hence the yellow wall and flower pic) and I *think she made it herself! Oh and there were some yummy spice cake cupcakes included for good luck!

All in all, I have been going through some tough times (lost 3-4 lbs because of it) but there have been some shining stars, both people, and experiences, that have made it bearable. I am so lucky, blessed, special... you name it. I am ending my 20s an entirely new woman, and I am so very excited about the year to come!

Oh and btw, I am a movie star! I was filmed for my surgeon's promotional "pick a surgeon" video.... more on that soon!

La Familia y Comida

Well, time to play catch up! A lot has happened since my last post, mainly in the form of a surprise trip to Cincinnati! Woohoo! Most people are probably wondering why Cincinnati of all places would elicit a "woohoo!" from anyone, especially a city girl like me, but I have family there that I really enjoy and I haven't been back to Cinci in 8 years! That is almost a decade!!!!!

My mom's sister and her hubby started their family in Mexico (she was teaching abroad and met this suave Meixcan named Poncho... they got married and she stayed in Mexico with him, had 3 kids, etc.). Well he worked for Proctor & Gamble and eventually the company wanted him to head up an enterprise in Cincinnati, their US headquarters. And so, the family moved there back in the late 80's and has been in the same house ever since! We used to visit for Thanksgiving back when my Grandma was mobile, and I would stay for a few weeks to a month in the summertime. Needless to say, Cincinnati, or more likely the cousins and aunt and uncle I have there, all hold a special place in my heart.


Well, those 2 crazy Mexican love birds celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past monday! Imagine that?! 40 years. WOW! My cousin Tanya had the idea to throw them a surprise party to celebrate... afterall, nowadays how many people make it to their 40th anniversary? Slim to none, right? So she sent everyone save the dates and hoped for a good turnout.... and she sure got one!!!!


People traveled from California, Georgia, all over Ohio... and even Mexico City! And let me tell you, "the Mexicans" (my uncle's sister, brother & kids) are an absolute BLAST! I had spent time with them as a kid because 1 summer we all ended up staying with my aunt & uncle at the same time, and I also got to party with them at both my cousins' weddings back in 2003. But again, it's been 8 years and I tell ya, not much has changed! They are still as fun loving and warm and kind as ever! I kinda wish I was related to them also! haha.


Since there were so many out of town guests, the "grown ups" stayed at a hotel, but the "cousins" stayed with my cousin Tanya. She lives about a mile from my Aunt & Uncle and I LOVE LOVE LOVE her house! It feels like a cabin in the woods, decorated with Crate & Barrel stuff....and lots of nice linens and toiletries to enjoy. Oh and yes, it is in the woods (a deer family walked right by the bedroom window while I was there!), but yet the main road with Wendy's & McDonald's was within walking distance.... quite a paradox! I had to take a picture of her house to commemorate my trip of course....

Tanya and I have had a special relationship since I was a kid. She is 8 years older than me but has always treated me like a friend more than a "little kid". I was always invited to tag along with her and her friends, we like the same things in general (except she doesn't like shopping... blashphemy!), and back in the good old days our family called us the "Bobsey Twins". It kind of stinks that we live a nation away from each other, but the good part is that when we DO get to spend time together it's as though no time has passed at all. I love her! Oh and her hubby Aaron and kids are all adorable as well... just a really nice family :)


Ok so back to the title of this entire post.... "La familia y comida" means "the family and food" because Tanya's mom, my aunt Marilyn loves to cook more than anyone I have ever seen, met, dreamt of, etc. This lady would cook in her sleep if she could! And nothing gives her more joy than seeing others enjoy her cooking! So Tanya had to somehow convince her that despite her son Ian (my cousin) and his wife Krista and their kids being in town from Switzerland for the holidays...s he was NOT allowed to cook her own anniversary dinner! She just told her to dress nicely and that Ian, Krista, Aaron (her hubby) and all of their kids were going out to a nice dinner for the evening.


Little did she know, 45 of her nearest and dearest were eagerly awaiting her arrival at a local restaurant! Here is what she looked like when she figured out that people had actually traveled in an airplane to celebrate with them....

I was the first person that she saw and kind of looked at in recognition like "hey what are you doing here?!". I went forward and gave her a hug and she went "OH MY GOSH! Alexis?!!!" She later confessed that she was thinking that I was a woman who LOOKED like me, but she wasn't sure it was me because she hadn't seen me since I had started losing all my weight! In fact last time she saw me was the day before my surgery! That part was kind of fun :) In fact, the Mexicans were SHOCKED when they saw me! I was at a peak weight in 2003 when they saw me (around 220lbs) so the wives had to tell their husbands that I was in fact "me". That was fun too!

Overall the party turned out great, and Tanya was grateful to have my party planning "expertise" in a few set up details, requests, etc. Hey.. it's what I do ; ) My aunt and uncle could not stop saying how surprised they were and how no one had ever thrown a party for them in the past 40 years, ESPECIALLY not a suprise party! They truly had no idea. And my aunt started crying (and I think my uncle shed a few tears too) when they saw how many people had made the effort to be there to celebrate with them! Well done T on planning an awesome surprise party!

Well, as predicted by all of us, the minute the party was over my aunt was planning our next feast at her house. We followed up the late night after party with a traditional Mexican breakfast....aka heaven on a plate! She made moilletes (pronounced Moy-yet-tays...not sure if I spelled it right) but basically it is rolls browned on a griddle, slathered with refried beans, monterey jack cheese, and broiled until the cheese is all melty. OMG DELICIOUS!!!! I hadn't had those in again, 8 years, and they tasted as good if not better than I remembered. And additionally she made chilaquiles.... torn tortillas lightly fried, smothered in fresh warm salsa verde, and topped with chopped onions and crema. No folks, those items are NOT on my diet!!! But darn they were amazing!

We also ended up at her house for dinner (think 20 people each meal) and there were just too many dishes to list on here, but all of them were outstanding and delicious. The cool thing about having a family that loves to eat is the comraderie around the table. Meals with all of my cousins and family and aunt and uncles... they are just awesome. We can sit forever just talking, laughing, reminiscing. It really is special. That's the one thing about this surgery that kind of blows.... I can only eat so much so while everyone else is still enjoying, I am cut off. (the trade is COMPLETELY worth it, so don't think I am truly complaining) But here I am , hanging with the ladies (Tanya, me, & my cousin Ian's wife, Krista)..... as I mentioned before, the table was about 20ppl deep at one point!

The other really awesome thing is that the three of us have all been pregnant around the same times, twice for all of us, girl first boy second for ALL OF US!!! How cool is that?! I loved seeing and playing with all of my cousins who all happened to be around my same age, so I am thrilled that my kids will get the same experience... not only from the Cincinnati peeps, but also from my Bay Area peeps as well.... us cousins are apparently good breeders! haha And we all had kids around the same time making for good times in the future.

So I have to credit my ability to attend this fine function to my mama. She bought my ticket with her credit card miles because apparently CVG is an expensive airport.... cheapest tickets were close to $400... OUCH. So Thank you MOM!!!! You are awesome! And also thanks to Roger who not only watched the the kiddos all weekend but also took care of Pearl, my parent's beloved weiner dog. She is like kid #3... even has to sleep in a people bed! haha. My mom was glad to get a picture of her entire family at the restaurant where the party was held... very festive as you can see! My "little" brothers are growing into men very quickly!

My flight home was purposely scheduled so that I could enjoy Monday in Cinci before going home.... I knew I got in late, but I wasn't prepared to be sitting on the tarmac for over an hour due to some mechanical glitch that had to be cleared. But alas, I made it home safely and was so glad to see my little monkeys and snuggle with them. They really are amazing kids and Aidan, in her sleepy haze, was coherent enough to sit up and say "MAMA!!!" and give me a big hug, before laying back down and passing out. I love that girl :)

Not much rest to be had before our Blue Water work party the following evening. I love these girls too! Kelly & Jennifer are the front lines at work and they are really great. We have a wonderful time discussing world issues like shopping at Goodwill & Target, calling each other fake names (I'm Charlene, in case you were wondering), and enjoying all of the great treats that come through our front door! I am lucky to have such great coworkers (even Dave, who took me to the airport on my way to Cinci!). Oh and might I add that we also like to get the party started early....


Merry Christmas Friends and Fam! I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday and enjoy "la familia" "la comida" and all of the blessings that Christmas brings!

Oh and my next check in about eating right and weight... eeks... Cincinnati was a land of Skyline chili 3 ways, diet Pepsi galore, chocolate opera cake, and Outback.... yeah.... I need to work on my restraint! The good news is that I can only eat so much : X Still holding strong at a size 4/6 and 138/9 lbs though!

The Uptown Girl, living in a Crafty world

The title today was pretty snazzy huh?? Uptown girl... I'd say downtown world, but in reality, around these parts, downtown is uptown.... but the point is that I am a city girl through and through. San Francisco, born and raised, 4th generation BABY!!! Woohoo!

Well, now that I got my city pride outta the way, perhaps I should get down to the point of this post! You see, I have noticed that in the past 2 years or so "handmade" goods are all the rage. I fall into the raging category, yet I have never been Susie Homemaker and I am 10x more likely to order out or in than cook a meal. Not so much since surgery, but that's just cause I am poor at the moment :) Either way, my domestic skills have been lacking, and I recently decided that it is high time I do something about it!!!

Enter my magical website called Pinterest.... land of the crafty, resourceful, mother, teacher, or creative someone or other. I freaking LOVE this website. The main reason is that some of the ideas or crafts seem so darn easy I think to myself "I can TOTALLY make that!". One catch: items you sew. Or embroider. Or really anything involving a sewing machine.

I grew up with a Grandma who could sew anything... she used to make my mom's clothes (stylish ones I may add!) when she was growing up/a teen, she used to make my Halloween costumes, she would even sew my teddy bears outfits to match mine! Her sewing machine was put to good use. And in the same way, my mom is a great seamstress... she definitely knows her way around a sewing machine, and has made me Halloween costumes, etc. Yeah that's pretty much where the sewing bloodline ends.

The cool thing is that I just so happen to work for a boss that has an embroidery machine and was completely willing to let me bring it home to make some holiday gifts. SCORE!!! Those things are like $500! I figured I would bring it home, read the manual, and get to work. Ummm the manual is like 200 pages full of crazy diagrams with letters and arrows, and the LCD screen on the machine is awesome and everything but I could barely figure out how to turn the darn thing on. Martha Stewart: 1. Alexis: 0. Roger had a good laugh at me trying to figure out what everything was and he told me sewing takes a lot more than just a lesson.

He did prove to be right (hmph) BUT my boss Karen was kind enough to start my lessons yesterday!!! Lesson 1: threading the bobbin, and threading the needle. Here I am.... I made my coworker Dave take a picture of this momentous occasion!

My desk is behind the bookcase thing, and I swear it is not normally full of crap... those are all really cool sewing CDs and tutorials that were in my boss' sewing SUITCASE... yes that's right her machine travels in style.

Anyway, my lesson lasted about 15 minutes because I had to go get my babies but I *think I just might be able to accomplish the 2 tasks I learned yesterday, by myself. We shall see when I attempt lesson #2... learning wtf the LCD screen does.

On to something a little more my style.... life downtown! Growing up in San Francisco, the downtown area, namely Union Square, is all abuzz with holiday fun! It just so happens that I have a meeting downtown tonight for my Catering association and one of our board members works at the Westin St. Francis.... SCORE!!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am because I have yet to feel the joy of the season in downtown SF. I love the lights, the tree, the energy... yup. I'm a city girl!

Now the thing about going downtown is that everyone is so spiffy down there! I couldn't go to my meeting looking like a schlub.... so I figured, LBD (little black dress), tights, boots.... AND MY NEW AWESOME RED PURSE! Love the color pop, right?!!! So fun! So Holiday! And SO CHEAP!!!!

Those who know me know that purses are not really my "thing". I don't have a Louis. I do have a Gucci (and as I am writing this I am realizing that it is actually red... and super cute... perhaps I should have worn it today....) but the Gooch is from Florence and I got it half off which was the equivalent of $250 which in the grand scheme is nothing for a Gucci bag..... but anyway I digress..... My normal every day purse was a Target steal that cost me $6.24 and I find it very hard to pull all of my crap out to change purses for a day. So generally, I don't.

BUUUUUUUUT.... for this occasion, I decided, what the heck. My new purse is snazzy, right?!! Well yeah snazzy and a steal at $12. I was thrilled. Thrilled UNTIL my coworker Kelly pointed out that perhaps it was a steal because it is BROKEN! (insert huge GASP!). Say what?! How the heck did I miss that?!!!! Well the ends are bound with these weird door hinge mechanisms so the bag flexes open to hold your stuff. On one side the pins that go through the mechanism were missing. Oh geez.....

I guess I better pull a MacGuyver on this puppy!!!!!!!

If you were not laughing before, you are definitely laughing now. This is my magican MacGuyver creation with paperclips!!! LOL. Hey, I may not be able to sew, but I do know how to make it work. I'm like Tim Gunn on Project Runway... Make it work!!!!


In all honesty I do not think that you can see the paperclips from afar, and I definitely wouldn't be walking around with this purse every day (just for tonight's festivities it seems), so the paperclips were a GENIUS idea! Go me!!!


And go me on my hair. I am slowly learning to manage it with no product and a little creativity. My cousin wanted to know if I still like it and if my face looks fat with it short. My response to her: see below

I don't think my face looks fat at all. But I also don't think that I am fat anymore. If I was 40lbs heavier like I was for about 7 years, then this style would have definite potential to bring out the butterball in my face. The weird thing is that I kinda feel like my jaw is almost angular now. I had always believed I had a really round face. Perhaps it was just pudge?? The more I see this picture the more it looks like I have a really big head. I don't have a big head, I swear... Kelly my professional blog photographer is 6 feet tall so she has a weird angle..... thanks Kelly!

And so my friends, this uptown/downtown/all around girl is about to enjoy a night in the city with some colleagues who rock.... off to enjoy!